32.3

I seem to perpetually find myself in situations of distaste. Of crookedness. Of discomfort. Of exclamations that go a little like "whoops." And in the moment, my whole world falls. I smack my palm to my forehead and wince while I think, "I messed up. I've ruined everything." And the little squigglies in my brain tangle up and mesh real tight while I go through all of the horrible scenarios of my adult future that for some reason is terribly affected by this one screw up. Kind of like the whole "Sound of Thunder" deal. You know, step on a butterfly and all of humanity disappears. I tend to freak out, silently. So as not to disturb the serene ambiance of my home(*cough couch* SARCASM *cough*). But freaking out silently feels more painful than freaking out noisily. However, I found a trick that always helps me. I stop and I give my ego some oxygen and think, "psh, this can just be one of those humanizing anecdotes I tell in my autobiography I'll write 20 years from now titled 'Even I wasn't always perfect!' and the cover will have a professional looking picture of me smirking amusingly at my would-be audience." That always makes me smile, and gives me hope of future redemption.